How long did it take for you to admit to yourself that you might have an issue with eating? Or are you not there yet?
It took me ages to finally admit I had a problem. I’d lost so much weight but I was determined it was OK because I genuinely just wasn’t hungry. I was just stressed and my appetite usually goes then anyway. It’d come back, it always did.
But after a few months of eating less and less, because my stomach had shrunk so it didn’t take much to make me feel full, I began to realise that even though I might feel a teeny weeny bit hungry, I could only eat ‘safe’ foods and the thought of eating more felt like the equivalent of giving a speech on live TV when you’ve only been given 2 minutes notice. Terrifying!!
I thought I could handle it though and there was no way I could have anorexia because I wasn’t skinny and I was still eating. I was definitely not like the stereotypical anorectic I had in my mind. It wasn’t until I had my first bulimic episode that I couldn’t deny it any longer, that’s a bit more obvious I guess.
If you’re still unsure whether you have a real issue, download my Quiz from the Resources section of my website here
If you’ve admitted to yourself but not got help yet, please do it today, don’t put it off any longer, believe me it only gets more difficult. The quicker you get help, the more likely you are to succeed in your recovery.
If you’re getting help and already on the road to recovery, well done!! It’s so scary because you think you’re letting go of your control whereas the reality is your ED has been in control of you, and getting help means a journey towards finally feeling free!
If you’re unhappy and realising that Ana isn’t the best friend that she promised she’d be, get in touch. I can help you kiss her goodbye.