This week, I took the opportunity to work with two business coaches. Why? Because I wanted to make sure I was doing my very best to get my message out to people, to make sure that they’d hear me, that they’d understand.
One of these coaches asked me to imagine my ideal client. I told her I’d done that and I was looking to work with women with anorexia located anywhere in the world. Brilliant she said but you might want to narrow this down a little. Not because you don’t want to work with everybody but so that your message doesn’t get distorted. What is this person’s life like? What has she gone through?
So I thought about this and I’ve decided to call her ‘Hope’ and to write her a letter:
I’m sorry that you’re struggling right now. I know it’s been really hard for you over the years. You’ve tried to be the best mum you can, whilst working and juggling everything and you’re doing a great job, but to you, it’s just not enough. It’ll never feel good enough. You’ll always need to do better.
You don’t feel special. Or that you belong. You’ve always struggled with relationships and whilst you long for someone to look after you, you like to remain in control and are fiercely independent. You feel like you have to do everything yourself. And although you always put yourself last, and place other people’s needs before your own, you still don’t feel worthy or that you have a purpose in life. You have no idea how much others value you. You just see yourself as a burden to others because of your anorexia.
I know you are exhausted, but you can’t stop for fearing of thinking about what’s gone wrong in your life and about food, of course. The only way you’re able to cope is by using anorexic behaviours. You feel safe when you’re restricting, you feel powerful, you feel invincible. But you know that it doesn’t last and a binge is never far away, which brings with it the most fear and guilt imaginable. You are caught in a cycle and you don’t know how to get out. All attempts so far have ended in failure. It’s safer not to try.
But you can do this. And I know because I’ve been there … and I got out. And the view from here is pretty stunning.
I can see that:
- I am a great a mum/daughter/friend.
- I am valued and loved by lots of people in my life.
- I am special and unique.
- I am worthy and have huge purpose in my life.
- I am not second best to anybody.
- I am safe and able to cope with life’s ups and downs without Ana in my life.
- that the world is a beautiful place.
- that I have a lot to be grateful for.
- that my world is a lot better without Ana in it.
- that recovery is worth the effort.
Hope, I know that you’re not feeling it just now, but I want to let you know that the above is totally possible. Not just for me, but for you too. And I want to take your hand and save you from the torturous world that is slowly killing you. I know a way out Hope, I can help you get to a better place, you just need to take my hand and trust in me.
I’m serious about helping women with anorexia, hence wanting to work with a coach. I looked at my options, who would be right for me and signed up. If you’re serious about finding a way out, you need to do the same. If you want to see if I’m a good option for you, then reach out, and get in touch.