I went to a Christmas party on Saturday night and I was really looking forward to it. Now I’m recovered, I wasn’t dreading the food or even having to make conversation with people that I didn’t know. I got dressed, feeling confident in myself. Not because I weighed less or because my dress was a size smaller than when I had anorexia (I am a healthy size 8 now compared to wearing age 8 clothes) but because of how I feel about myself now. I no longer have negative beliefs and this has been the key to transforming how I feel about me, on the inside as well as my body.
During the evening, I saw this young, beautiful woman. She was stunning and was wearing a lace and sequin long flowing dress, looking like Cinderella at the ball. The dress was practically see through so she wore white hotpants underneath.
Now years ago, I would’ve looked at her and felt jealous, wishing I looked like that and I would punish myself as a result. I would’ve judged her for wearing that dress and for making me feel so bad. But do you know what I thought on Saturday after seeing her. “Wow!! Look at you! Good on you for having the confidence to wear that!” You see, she was slim yet not skeletal. She was healthy and confident. I wasn’t jealous or thinking hateful things about her. I felt happy for her.
There are so many people that seem to be struggling in today’s society and it was nice to think that she wasn’t one of them. Now that’s not to say that she hadn’t got her own issues, but I don’t know her so I will never know. But that’s the thing about comparing yourself to others. We don’t usually know the people we compare ourselves against, and we will never know their troubles. But if we see someone that on the face of it, seems happy and confident, that’s all we’ll see and we put ourselves down because we feel inferior. But if we feel happy and content in ourselves, we have no reason to let other people’s perceived confidence affect us.
Another lady I spoke to at the party was wearing a nice top with a pair of jeans and boots. She explained to me, “I just wore this as I wanted to feel comfortable. I’m really not a dress person. I’ve been to these type of occasions before and I’ve ended up going back to my room around 4 times to change my outfit”. I thought she’d done the right thing wearing what she felt comfortable in and if anyone wanted to judge her, let them go ahead. Again, they had no idea of the strength that it took to put those jeans on.
Don’t judge anyone, in a good or a bad way as we have no idea of their situation. And in the same way, don’t judge yourself based on what you think others are thinking about you. Because the chances are, they’re too busy worrying about themselves and wondering what you’re thinking about them. It’s all just a waste of energy.
If you’d like to feel more confident about yourself, book a call with me now and I can talk you through how I can help you feel more confident on the inside and out.